Cruisin’

It’s been a while since I posted anything here. It’s been a whirlwind month I tell ya. No need to dwell on the drama of everyday life. “Just be civil but continue to work towards your goal.” as a friend pointed out. It got me thinking, WHAT IS MY GOAL?

I’ve have been through a lot over the years and honestly, it’s been the things that people take for granted that have become my goal or goals. Tiny steps, baby steps, big steps as long as I keep stepping (literally) forward. That was my goal. 13 years in the making and still counting. Thing is this, the reality of LIFE sets in and you realize that you are way behind.

I didn’t finish college. I had one semester left of useless courses and dropped out before the school (an all girls Catholic school) could kick me out. Looking back, I swear, school was a joke. I did enjoy my course (Advertising & PR) and everything that came with it. I enjoyed my friends, whom I still get in touch with today. BUT after what I went through, just to be alive was enough for me.

Experiences in life are not taught in school or in any book for that matter. One has to experience it themselves to truly understand the gravity of each situation. Therefore, the saying “I know how it feels” deems void. For one will ever know what if feels like to be in each others’ shoes for the mere fact that we are all individuals and cope in various ways.

The other day, I had to rush to Market!Market! and buy 5 boxes for Bibingkinitan for my son’s class presentation about Filipino food. I’m pretty sure he chose Bibingka so that he could eat it himself afterwards. Anyway, it took more than an hour for the 5 boxes to be ready. In that hour, I made friends with strangers all waiting for the Bibingka. No way was I going to let others get ahead of me knowing that I fell in line and waited for my turn. So, I gave them a big smile and said, “Sorry. I was in line first.” I guess they noticed that I was carrying a crutch and asked why. The magical question of WHY.

After sharing my story, two women were in tears. I felt sorry for them and apologized that I didn’t mean to make them cry. They were just so moved by it I guess. Each time this happens, I ask myself, WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? Was I really made to survive to simple share my story?

Milestone Morning

No longer in a cast, I had to adjust again. Even my yaya, who is used to helping me move around, had to adjust the kind of pressure she puts when helps. I couldn’t move around while sleeping because of the pain. More of  “swollen pain”. My leg seems so much lighter which I couldn’t just swing around. I was and still am very careful of how I move my leg and ankle, scared to hit it against anything. However, when I woke up this morning, and about to get up from bed,  I noticed my foot was straight. Better yet, something I haven’t done in 12 years I was able to do this morning. I was able to put both my feet flat on the floor. I was so happy that I took a picture. My foot didn’t twist which I was afraid that it would. I applied enough pressure just til it hurt. I was served my breakfast still with my feet planted on the floor. What a joy. Baby steps as someone pointed out. Baby steps.

Very much in pain, I promised myself that I would try and walk. One step at a time. In the morning, I walked from my table/laptop , which is inside the den, to the sala which is about 10 steps and 10 steps to the table. In the afternoon, I told my yaya that I wanted to walk around some more. I walked from the table to the sala and around the comedor and back to the table. I didn’t count how many steps I took but that definitely more than double or even triple was I walked in the morning. This doesnt include bathroom breaks, teehee. So, I think I’m doing pretty well considering. I just hope some people REALIZE that, hey, I’m still hemiplegic ok? I am no super woman that just got fixed and be expected to walk as normal as before. Entiendes? Gracias.